10 things you do if you study in Denmark

They have more fun than you do and this is what they do. University for them doesn’t seem to be a long, continuous torture. This is a 10-thing list about what students in Denmark do and what you would like to do. You can try to be like them, but you will never be like them.

1. One break, two breaks, three breaks…

Are in class and you cannot wait hopefully for the next break? Is your lecture getting longer and more boring than usual and you need fresh air or maybe a coffee? Well, no problems. Just wait five more minutes and it will be break time again. If you are studying in Denmark your lessons will never last for more than 45 minutes. Otherwise, there’s a break. It’s easy to get used to it, however, you sometimes think “come on, just finish your lesson and we go home”.

2. Food or how to become a big ass in class

When you start a new course you are aware of the fact that you won’t do too much. You know, first day, new lecturer and you’ll take it easy. As if this were not comfy enough, lecturers usually bring pastry, cake, croissants, maybe if you’re lucky kanelsnegl as well, plus coffee, tea and bread. And it is that course beginnings at Danish university are food festivals where you sit on your chair, you eat and let your ass get bigger and bigger.

Yeah, laugh, but once you get into the Danish uni, you never know how's gonna be

3. Non-stop eating? Who cares?

This is related with the second thing you do if you study in Denmark. How come you cannot eat in class if it’s the educational staff who brings food. Is your stomach rumbling and you’re just back from the break? Don’t clench or lean your body to hide the noise. Just open up your tupperware and eat a sandwich or something more elaborated, if you are foreigner, or you bunch of carrots if you are a Dane. You are making noise when chewing but God knows that it’s more polite than your “roars” and “burrs” of your stomach.

4. Go easier or go home

If there’s something in the Nordic countries, and well Germany too, that they can boast about and it’s still true, it’s order. They are organized and one can see it from the beginning. In your first day of course they give a paper with all the deadlines throughout the term. You realize that you have to plenty of time to write all your essays, all your assignments and occasionally a project. You don’t live in permanent tension as you would do some circles of latitude below. Write a 5-page assignment in a week. Deal! I don’t have lessons every day.

He can be one of your classmates, or even one of your lecturers or professors

5. This is an exam free product

The end of the term is coming. For other countries it is like that so-repeated quote from ‘Game of Thrones’: “Winter is coming”. You can’t run away, you can’t avoid it. It’s fate and it’s fated. But in the country where the real winter is coming, and not the one with those soulless white walkers, this doesn’t seem so terrifying. I mean, of course you tremble and you’re likely to smoke a cigarette before the exam, but, as I said: exam. Ok, maybe they have two or three exams. It’s cool and I love it because I don’t see myself studying for one, and another and another exam until 6 exams in a chain. In Denmark you don’t end up with anxiety, bald because of the stress or with a corn on the finger of so much writing schemas. But they have more creative ways of examining you, like oral test. They love oral, I guess so.

6. You type, not write

Did we say corn on a finger? Yes, because getting inside a Danish classroom at the university means to see everybody with a computer. There are no papers or pens, but laptops and chargers and maybe some iPad. As well, one can detect who’s Danish, who’s not. It’s like playing ‘Guess Who?’ or ‘Who’s who?’ but with just a simple question: Does he/she have a Mac? If so, it gets a 90% of probability of being a Dane. But this is irrelevant, the thing is like they’re so damn used to typing, that they don’t remember how to write. How beautiful is to handwrite! But beauty has a price. Well, if you don’t want to pay it, Denmark is your place.

If you are a Dane, Apple is your religion, your typings on the keyboard yours prays to God and Steve Job... Who remembers him? 

7. This is COLOMBIA!!! No, it’s Denmark.

Do you remember that scene from the film ‘300’ when Leonidas kicks on the Persian soldier’s chest while screaming “This is Sparta!”? Well, something similar is going to happen if you ask a Dane why they have so much coffee all over the uni? “This is Denmark”, they’ll say to you while kicking out of the student room kitchen. Coffee vending machines, coffee makers, coffee pots, water-heaters, and well, the canteen. What we like: cheap coffee to stay awake. What we don’t like: It’s dirty water, thank you. You’d better make stronger coffee you wouldn’t have to drink coffee every hour and to piss consequently as if you were a mare.

8. Where do you live? I live at the uni.

But why so much coffee? To stay awake while you are at the uni, but they like to spend the day. University is like a casino. You never know whether it’s daylight or nighttime in order you keep on betting. Here it’s the same. The best examples I know are Copenhagen Business School library and cafeteria and Syddansk Universitet in Odense. As far as I know, I just want to go home once my lessons are finished. There’s no need to stay on the campus for longer. But there’s something in the Danish universities that attract you. Why to do nothing at home, when you can do it at the university. And this casino style of non-getting outside is mirrored also in the fact of having showers in the toilet. No, I don’t mean the gym toilets. I mean an average toilet. It’s just like “I go to pee and… wow! There’s a toilet, it’s still wet!”.

Syddansk Universitet endless corridors. Too long way to say "I'm going home".
Flickr: SANTIAGOCOMS.1

9. Drunk after the lessons.

It’s Friday afternoon, almost evening. Lessons are over and you don’t wanna go home yet. You know, you love to live at the university. Let’s go to the Fredagsbar. “What’s that?”, the foreign student asks. Well, every Friday there’s a bar, with music –yeah, music– and very cheap beer. It seems a tramp. Well, if you’re meeting your friends in the city later it may be. You’ll not be able to crawl back home. And the best thing is that the day when the Christmas beer (Julebryg) and the Easter beer (Påskebryg) are released you can wait in the Fredagsbar to have your first drink of those beers.

It's not like this... Well, not at the beginning at least

10. Party in the house, well, party in the university.

Let’s keep on talking about what I like the most, party. Certainly one could think that there’s nothing better than having a Fredagsbar where one goes wild but still on the campus. However, you’re completely wrong. Danish universities hold the semesterstartsfest (beginning of semester party) and the årfest (annual party). It’s crazy. Universities hire DJs and bands, set lights and speakers, put hotdogs and Asian food kiosks. It’s a like to be in heaven, but surely you know how much you’re sinning there and that could be hell. A big reason? Toilets in the Danish universities are mixed, for girls and boys.

Two informational paradoxes in Denmark

Recently I read an article in the Nordicom Review by a professor from RUC, Thomas Tufte. I attended a lecture from him and I couldn’t be happier after it, and now that I had the chance to read his explanation of the correlation between media and global divides. He makes emphasis in three cases: Malawi and its rural zones; Brazil and the telenovela effect; and Denmark as an example of full media access but symbolic and its cultural divides (Tufte, 2009). I found this article as an epiphany, a discovery, of two informational paradoxes taking place in Denmark. Why is this so important? Because Norden -or the Nordic world- represents one of the three information systems, apart from the Asian one in Singapore and the American one in Silicon Valley. I’ll start with the painful one and I’ll conclude with the positive paradox, so if it’s hard to read for some Danes, they could get a happy ending when they finish reading, if they do it, sure.

Tufte pays attention to Nørrebro’s case. This is a neighborhood in Copenhagen, in past a former workers zone, and today a multicultural space where man can find and endless number of languages spoken amongst the people living there. Tufte makes an excellent description of what can be a daily situation. “Living in Nørrebro, as a family of say Kurdish-Turkish origin, or of Pakistani origin, you most likely have complete access to both radio, TV, including satellite or cable TV, Internet access and mobile phones. At home, it is likely that the children in the family have a TV in their (shared) bedroom, and that there is a larger TV screen in the living room” (Tufte, 2009). The consumption of media is high, there’s no doubt, but the question is whether this media access is just symbolic.

Many would say that this is the reality of many places all over the world. Well, I would doubt it. I think one can find this situation in some specific cases, mainly in Northern Europe. Tufte highlights the fact that mainly 1^st, but also 2^nd and sometimes 3^rd generation immigrants consume media in a different way. They tend to use homeland media, instead of the public service media. The quid behind this question is that this ethnic minority does not feel representation or finds misrepresentation in the media (Tufte, 2009). Everyday, they turn on the TV they can watch stereotyped news with roots in the anger, exclusion and fear from unfairly associated terrorism acts. Thus, they prefer consuming culturally closer matters, such as Arab television in Danish, Turkish music, Latino leisure clubs, or Vietnamese restaurants, rather than the local media.

But, suddenly the other side of the mirror comes up. Tufte make focus on the example of the musical talent show, X-factor, “where a large number of the approximately 10 finalists in the Danish version of the programme where ethnic minority” (Tufte, 2009). In those moment, for media, terms such as nydansker, or 2^nd generation immigrant were not used anymore, but the finalists were referred to by their first names.

This is the first informational paradox, which is depicted as “I can have as much as access to the media as I want, but I don’t give a damn because I don’t find representation or my culture is mirrored in a wrong way full of stereotypes and sometimes exclusion”. Is this only a matter from Denmark, not really. It’s more obvious there, but still an issue in other countries, such as Spain. Differences, here, in Madrid, the alternative media consumption is not as big as in Denmark. We have some Chinese newspapers, Latino radio broadcasting and Arab channels, but still far from the Nørrebro effect. The access to media is more limited.

The second paradox is the correlation between how much information one can have and the fact that they don’t use it, as it is other people’s information. This thought came to me the first time I googled myself when I was living in Denmark. Yes, my whole address appeared on the screen of my laptop. Postal code, city, street and door’s number. I also saw that whoever who searched me could send me chocolates or flowers. That was lovely, but creepy in terms of who knows what kind of people could find out where I lived. Krak.dk is the website where apparently, and I don’t still know the reason, many people residing in Denmark appears. Anyways, the matter is not the surveillance issue or the lack of privacy, but do the Danes care about the possibility of knowing other people data.

But, there are two more issues about this access to someone else’s information. I realized that the Danish entry phones at the gateway have the owners’ last name, instead of just a “1^st floor to the right”, as it’s usual in other countries. So it seems not to be very difficult to get to know who lives in the building. In addition the lack of sun entails no curtains, so they can achieve as much light as possible. I can’t imagine that scene in my home country without someone on the streets spying what those “shameless Danes” do at home: If they have cleaned the house, if they invite many people, or if they cook or order food. Nevertheless, the reality is completely the opposite in Denmark. People can see, but they don’t look. Looking involves paying attention. Thus, as a Dane, I can accidentally see someone’s room from the streets, but I’m will not take a main role in Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’ spying what others do. The same applies to the names on the entry phone at the gateway. It can be a “look, my last name is Petersen and here another Petersen lives” but never a “let’s see who resides in the third floor”.

The access to personal information is widely easier in Denmark than in other countries, but under the law of “mind your own business”. It’s a matter of respect for privacy. That means a lot from that Danish culture before information.

Reconciliation post: 7 Deadly Sins of cycling never committed in Denmark

Recently I talked to one of my Danish friends about how offensive might be my posts on this blog. For me it’s really important that no one gets offended by what I say. “Well, when I read it I realize that there’s truth within, but on the other side I don’t like anybody talking badly about Denmark”. Seriously, I love the Nordic world but when I’m criticizing it it’s never in a bad way, but in an objective way, with its lights and shades. After this conversation I was searching for things I love about Denmark but I hate in Spain. I got it while I was jogging. That’s why, this is for you Danes.

All over the world, Denmark is the best country to ride a bike and in the same way to live together with bikers. I’m going to start with all the things we Spaniards do and they don’t by listing them in a Seven Deadly Sins list.

1.       Mini-bikes:

God only knows why this ridiculous way of riding bikes with very low seats and very high handlebars is trendy now. We enjoy pretending we are thugs and we are right away from the ghetto by awkward moving our legs and hitting our faces with the knees in order to cycle. If you add to this bizarre entertainment a chubby guy riding a three times smaller bike you get the Spanish version of those American twins, McGuire Twins, with their mini-Honda motorcycles. In Denmark you’ll never see something like that. Everybody rides bikes that suit their height, maybe too tall ones but still normal.

McGuire Twins on their Hondas, like those low seat thugs

2.       Gang looking:

Still in the ghetto style, here they love to include mp3 players on their bikes so everybody on the street can hear what these small thugs listen to. But, they go wild by adding extras on them, just like Pimp my Ride but without Xzibit. They want to show you how much mob they are. No, in Denmark one will only see discretion. Don’t stand yourself out, just ride your bike without playing loud that shaggy music full of “dale!” or “mamita!”.

3.       Two-handed driving:

Here we love security when riding a bike. Two hands on the handlebar and if we have three, it’s even better. And regarding the mini-bikes, the idea of driving with two hands on the bar seems too ridiculous. Arms and legs obstruct each other. Moreover, we cannot drive and do something else at the same time. I’m from a big capital and I live spitting distance from the inner city, so I don’t need a bike. That’s why when I was practicing during the summer nights before moving to Denmark it was hard to me to speak and ride at the same time. I used to feel so retarded. I’d need the focus on the bike or the focus on the conversation, but not both of them. And pray for nobody rings you while you are riding. On the opposite side, Danish people can even text, brush their hair or eat while biking, and all of this still looking cool.

4.       Lycra clothes:

Unless you are Lance Armstrong or professional cyclist, you’re not allowed to wear a maillot. Are you really going into a race? Then, why do you do it? If you want to do your cardio outside, you can just work out with a basic H&M t-shirt (they even have a new sport edition) with a pair of Adidas shorts… or whatever. Furthermore, the more obnoxious the color of the maillot is, the better they like. Danes cycling as a way to get a place, like job, school or market. Other healthy options are dedicated to Fitness DK or Fitness World. It’s just the situation who demands the dress code when you are on a bike. Don’t be silly y dear Spaniard, just ride your bike without looking like a fool. Lycra maillot means that you are sent straight away to hell.

Somebody save me. Carrefour style on a lycra maillot.

5.       Fear:

No matter if the bus is behind you or the taxi cab almost touches you. Danes are never afraid of that. On the contrary, if someone is one meter next to us, we feel about to fall down and crash our bike. We cannot fight the obstacles on the way. One day in Copenhagen I saw a bus about to run over a biker, or at least it seemed for me that that lady was about to be killed. Nothing further from the truth, she was quiet while I was about to scream “Pas på!!!!” (Be careful in Danish). If you are afraid of everybody on the streets, it means you are not Dane, so you are sinning according to my list.

6.       Going uphill:

That’s a big clue why Denmark rocks in terms of cycling. God damn it, it’s flat. One doesn’t need to break their back to climb the hills in Madrid. Just cycling and bending on the road. No suffering. If there are hills, don’t take your bike. You’ll be exhausted, sweated and annoyed after that, so it’s not good transportation for the uni or the work. Those Danes, even old people, carrying their shopping bags full of groceries on the handlebar while riding the bike… That’s amazing. If I have to carry something else than a backpack I would feel a bit handicap and aware of not falling down. If live in a non-flat country, it’s like living in Sodom and Gomorrah.

7.       Speeding up:

I’m fed up of hearing people demanding more bike roads for Madrid. I said it in many times, Madrid is not designed to ride a bike because it’s not flat and the disposition of the streets doesn’t allow it. However, if you want to have your bike roads, start by using them. It’s really annoying to wait for the green of the traffic light and to see how bikers are on the sidewalk while they have their bike road one meter beside them. But, the most irritating issue is how much they speed up while they are cycling. If you ride a bike in the city, you are doing it as a way of transportation, not as fitness. I don’t want to be run over, thank you. Only in Denmark they know how to respect, not even Holland where my brother went once and he advised me “don’t be aware of the traffic when you cross the street, be aware of the bikes”. They just ride, they just transport themselves. They don’t races. But back in Spain, there’s another story. Bikers don’t usually respect. And if you complain they blurt out you to get out of the way. Then it’s when I raise an eyebrow and I think how much I miss Denmark.

Follow these principles in the Danish way, you’ll not end up in hell, at least the hell of my black list.

Danes' self-perception and your perception of them: The truth behind.

One thing is how you perceive yourself and other thing is how your acquaintances perceive you. You think you are hardworking, generous and friendly. The rest of the world when looking at you they see someone lazy, stingy and unpleasant. But, what about the Danes? Last night, some people asked what they are like. That’s what I said.

Modesty

They are more than aware of the fact that Denmark is a small country. Nobody remembers Denmark due to a great historical hit. Even though you check the most famous Danish people in its history, you’ll only see some referents like Karen Blixen, Niels Bohr, Kierkegaard, but overall H.C. Andersen. But they are satisfied with that.

From a distance it seems that they have super big ego. When you break the ice, you’ll see they are pure love. But, don’t date to criticize their system, education or society. Then you’ll suffer their wrath full of explanations with a non-modesty stink.

Self-satisfaction

In the same way that they are modest, they are also really self-satisfied. Gosh, they are Vikings! They are so pleased with themselves, even if it’s not polite to think one is more than others and they love equality. There isn’t anyone better than anyone but nothing is greater than being Dane.

Swedes are the poorer neighbors, the Southern countries In Europe have the heat inside but they are unreliable and always late, the Germans are formal and too much precise. But being Dane means to have a great sense of humor and to know how to have fun, they are peaceful and civilized. I even heard, “we are the Brazilians of the Scandinavian world”.

How much is it true? Well, they are really peaceful and civilized but give them the opportunity and they’ll create biggest riots ever. I still remember a derby between FCK and Brøndby where the bonfires almost burned down the stadium. I cannot forget, only Danes are allowed to use irony no matter consequences, it’s just humor. If you aren’t Danish, not only they will not understand you, but also they will get offended, it’s not just humor now. But still… Their modesty brings self-satisfaction with.

Shyness

When someone says to me that Danes are fun and the friendliest people ever seen because they used to have a pal from Denmark I always ask “where did you meet him/her?” I can assure that in most of the cases, they answer “we partied together”. For sure there are many friendly and kind people in Denmark but the problem is they are very shy too. This fact is like this until they get a drink.

However, the biggest test comes next few days, when you see your party pal on the streets and he or she pretends not knowing you and doesn’t hail you. Moreover this shyness makes them so difficult to get known, but once you break the wall, you can have a good friend.

They are aware of this fact. They know so bad that they are shy, but how can you change your DNA?

Informality

Don’t expect to bring a Danish friend to a gala party in other European country and shine all over the guests. They know how to dress up, but a formal situation doesn’t not only mean good looking clothes. It’s attitude when talking to people and behaving, but overall manners.

Actually, I’m not sure if they know about this fact. Only the Danish representation in the EU Parliament can be seen with a purple shirt when the other members wear them in white or light blue. You never stretch up while you sit at the table.

However, this is something I kind of like. In my culture we are full of conservatism or pre-established rules of formalism that obligate us to behave in a fake way. They don’t. They are natural. We love them natural, like vegetables and fruits. If I have to choose, I wouldn’t change them. So, never trust on a very formal Dane.

You, Danes and the parties: A guide to survive. Ch. 1

Recently I read an article about Danish culture. I have to admit how much I love the Danish way of life. It’s full of paradoxes that enrich the everyday. “While in Denmark, if you are invited to a fairly big party where you know only the host and hostess, you might as well prepare for a boring evening” (Knudsen, 2002), it stated.

This is something that I observed but I didn’t realize till I got to read this article. I always saw something hard to describe in Danish social meetings but I couldn’t figure out what. It’s not a matter of feeling comfortable or welcomed; it’s a matter of understanding how social rules work. It’s well known the “help yourself” motto inserted in Denmark cultural background. I really love it. It is the lack of formality which make the social situation more realistic, instead of full of conventionalism.

This means that you only speak with someone you already know. Nevertheless, don’t expect to introduce yourself or others to anyone at all. It’s normal to be at a party and see that everyone laugh and have fun without you, unless you’re Dane and you know what they talk about.

It’s important to be informal and figure out who is who at a party. The lack of formality during social events, the lack of introduction makes socializing more difficult for the newly arrived. I’ve attended different parties where there were many small groups of people instead of fewer of more people. The problem was they didn’t know each other and that was why they didn’t mingle. With this situation I don’t feel uncomfortable, completely the opposite, I feel myself less shy than in my homeland.

My Danish friends sometimes told me that I am a perfect host and I always make sure that anyone is introduced to others. It’s because I feel so stupid when I try to speak to someone and I don’t remember his or her name, so I have to use vocatives such as dude or guy or interjections like hey.

You’re not allowed to break the comfort zone made by the personal space. If you want to know who is who you’ll have to find out for yourself but be aware that it’s not appropriate to approach to someone that you don’t know. “These parties end up looking as a micro cosmos of already established groups of acquaintances” (Knudsen, 2002), the article said.

You are forgiven. You are just an outsider who doesn’t know the rules and tries to cross the line between those outside the groups and those who already know each and have a hyggelig moment. They know that it’s bad enough to be a foreigner and to know nothing. If you are foreigner, as an outsider, you’re allowed to ask. Ask as much as you want to but it depends on the person in front of you who decides the information given. So, the status quo of ignorance remains.

As a newcomer this is your way out. With the excuse of being ignorant, you could transit the social rites of Danish society. However, if your biggest desire is to be like a Dane, just follow the non-written clues hidden in the social event. Don’t ask, but just pay attention to the signs floating in the air to get to know who is who and perhaps, and only perhaps, you fit in like a Dane. Good luck.

KNUDSEN, Anne (2002). Pretend your are at home - and stay there!. Her går det godt- send flere penge. Gyldendal.

Dansk humor: a matter of mastery

If I had to say what it is the most difficult thing of living in Denmark as a foreigner coming from Spain, I would say the humor. Oh, yeah, it is easy everyone can make some fun using irony but it’s not the kind of irony Alanis Morissette sang about. Believe or not, you’ll never find such a way of twisting words and meanings as here.

Poster in Nørrebro (Copenhagen). Picture taken from pernille.typad.com

Is it bad? No, it’s other way of interacting. I must confess that sometimes is hard to realize if Danes are just trying to be nice or they are simply rude. It’s like a play-role. One takes the role of the joker and you, as foreigner, play the role of the stupid who doesn’t understand.

In the south we are more direct. Of course we use sarcasm but we are amateurs in front of that levels achieved by centuries of practice. My advice is, if you come to Denmark, to be yourself and try to fit in little by little.

I remember one night when a group of Spaniards we were having dinner with a Dane. In some moment he yelled “Arriba España” (Up Spain or long live Spain). It had been nice if we wouldn’t have these problems of identifying national pride with fascism in Spain. All of us stared at him in shock expecting that such a sign of inappropriate free expression was caused by his lack of awareness. The thing is that the Dane he did know about that and he made it on purpose. Days after, when we were informed about that, we yelled “what kind of humor is that? It’s not funny if you don’t share it”. Well, maybe it’s the Danish humor way.

Anyway, I think I’d like to know all the tips and keys behind this way of making fun and impress people around the world with such a humor. In the meantime I’m just trying to learn the grassroots in order to mingle with more Danish people. And, for sure, it’s not like to put foreigners on the line and make them to say rødgrød med fløde, the national tongue-twister.

The rotten apple in Denmark

One of the premises on which Danish society is based is freedom. It is the grassroots of the system. Freedom doesn’t mean to do whatever you want, but to be able of doing whatever you want. In order to fit in it is important to follow this principle.

Recently I was chatting in the kitchen of my dormitory with some pals, all of them foreigners as me, about how we perceive Danish people and Denmark in general. We reached different opinions. And I remember I explained and important concept in all the Nordic culture to my mates in order to show them my point of view. Janteloven or the Law of Jante, a non-written law very present in the northern countries minds.

In general terms, it can be said that the Law of Jante is the biggest example of why Nordic culture is based on community behavior against individualism. Living in a country does not only mean to reside in a place of earth delimited by borders, but also to be part of the society. Here are the ten principles of Janteloven.

-          You're not to think you are anything special.

-          You're not to think you are as good as us.

-          You're not to think you are smarter than us.

-          You're not to convince yourself that you are better than us.

-          You're not to think you know more than us.

-          You're not to think you are more important than us.

-          You're not to think you are good at anything.

-          You're not to laugh at us.

-          You're not to think anyone cares about you.

-          You're not to think you can teach us anything

Basically it says, move your ass from individualism and rich yourself and do something for the community. But… Here is the problem. Denmark is a multicultural country where diversity is one its biggest appeals.  So, it is difficult to understand for the most of us who come here.

One would be observed as a newbie in the city. Because it’s not about only individualism, also about being different. It’s not a coincidence the fact that the big majority of Danish young students look alike. Same haircuts, brands, colors, expressions. Sometimes being different means being out of the loop.

Be quiet, dress as they do, behave as they do, drink as they do, say what they say, never critic their system, don’t do anything that can piss them off and try to learn Danish. Then, you’ll be, not a Dane, but a foreigner completely integrated. Otherwise you’ll be the rotten apple which spoils the whole country.